The season I'm in...

We have waited with anticipation through the dreary and the damp and it's finally HERE! Glorious Summer has come to Washington!!!

Here, let me set the happy little scene :

(It's the evening of the third consecutive day of sunshine in the Pacific Northwest. Having put the kids to bed, and finding that it's still light outside, I am now weeding around my strawberry plants in the parking strip outside of my cozy little home. I am soaking in the cool and quiet, and thinking to myself as I work uninterrupted.)
"Yay Sun! I feel like a new person this time of year! I love the summer!"

(as I swat at a mosquito about to bite me) 
"Booo!... I forgot about these guys!" 

(as my hand makes contact with my day old sunburn)
"Ouch! Sunburn is the worst!"

(as I retreat into the house to escape the mosquitos and find that my kids are still awake because it's too light out to sleep)
"Ugh... I hate Summer! Come on Fall!"

We'll that got ugly quick! You see, I tend to get swept up in romantic notions and forget about how things are really going to be. I have big plans for quality time with my husband and making memories with my boys. I get excited about eating vegetables from our garden and freezing local berries for all year round. I expect to get a nice tan from being in the sun and to have some "me" time when my boys take a nap. And there are ever so many reasons why I'm going to be more patient, less selfish, and just better all around!

I forget that in reality my husband is exhausted this time of year, because work is super busy and the rest of life hasn't slowed down any. I forget that my boys would rather play in the dirt than play a role in my prefabricated memories. I forget that harvesting from the garden takes work to keep up with weeding and watering it, and that preserving takes time. Then the tan comes in the form of a farmer's and the "me" time is spent nursing the baby (that I forgot to factor in). Also, it turns out that selflessness and patience aren't seasonal attributes after all.

As each of my expectations collide with reality, I find myself groping for the next one in folly filled hope and being sorely deflated as it crumbles in my hands! I look at my disappointment as something that has been forced upon me, not as a response I have chosen. But it's not this or next season of the year that will bring me joy, and it's not this or next season of life that will make me content.

Lord, teach me to choose contentment despite my circumstances.

God made dirt...

In case you aren't up on your elementary school recess banter, the last part of the rhyme says ''... and dirt don't hurt!''. It was the sight of my boys in my flower bed that left me chanting this beautiful work of juvenile poetry the other day.

But, hey, at least they've moved on to giving dust baths to "real" elephants!

Meltdown Monday

When Jordan and I were on YWAM we would have weekly meetings on mondays where we would air our grievances, we affectionately  called them "Meltdown Mondays"...

They went something like this,

"Would SOMEONE please stop... 

* leaving their half empty cups all over the house

* using my hair brush (which i leave in the public bathroom for my own convenience, not yours!)

* leaving their dirty dishes in the sink
* eating my ice cream (that was found for free by someone else in a dumpster)
* skipping their morning chores

and cue the meltdown... Waaaaaaaaaaaaa! 

All this reminiscing leads me to my point, Yesterday I hosted my own personal Meltdown Monday (and it was a doozie).

(no children were harmed in the taking of this photo)

I wish I could say it was just the kids...

(no adults were harmed in the taking of this photo)

When I shared my post last week I was really encouraged by the thank you's. Because really that translates to, "yes we feel that way too", and that means I'm not alone.  

But, guess what! I did it! In the midst of all the emotional turmoil, I kept up with the house yesterday! I didn't get around to scrubbing the kitchen floor or anything crazy like that! But my husband walked in the door, noticed the difference, and praised me for our clean home! And I felt eternally satisfied and lived happily ever after... 

No... I cringed and I shook my head... because I knew that more important duties had been sacrificed in order to accomplish menial tasks. My eternal perspective had lacked, my hope in the Gospel had been nil. And when I felt the weight of opportunities missed in the hearts of my kids, I turned not to Christ, but to some silence in a mini van (coupled with Taco Bell cheesy fiesta potatoes and a bar of chocolate) to soothe my aching soul. 

I missed it, I really did! Apparently, knowing you're in the same boat only goes so far when the boat is sinking. 

But there is HOPE! Thank God there is hope! Though I miss the mark in every conceivable way! For when I fail I am forced to cling once again to the assurance found in Grace undeserved. 

Remember to rest in that grace, whatever day your meltdown arrives.

the whole truth and nothing but the truth...

 So let's get this out of the way first... He's so cute right? I know! And handsome! And strong! I mean look at that neck control! (and don't forget drooly)

And to the relief of this American baby's father, in case he happens to roll over into Canada, he should be able to find his way back ;)

As I prepare to post some highlights of our day today, I have to admit this season of going from 2 to 3 kids has been hard for me. I was doing alright at keeping it together with two, but I literally can't keep up anymore (and I have spent many busy/angry mama days trying). I do so prefer to share the happy moments and neglect to mention the hysterical screams and fears of failure. I like to seat you in my tidy living room having safely stuffed all of my crap in my bedroom... But God continues to graciously and faithfully strip that from me. And though prone to forget, I am learning to be vulnerable and honest. Today I will try to bring that into my blog a bit. :)

Yay for sunshine! we have been having a blast outside! And these boys seem to believe every occasion calls for hats. J's was laying in the grass somewhere... actually both of them are still laying out in the grass. (No daddy not the lawn mower!!!)

Soak it in Jordan, this may be the closest we ever come to a little girl with a ponytail.  She is adorable though! ;)

On a day like this of course we want a picnic! So I made my little boys scoot out of my natural light and told them not to touch anything while I took this pretty picture...

And now the dishes are sitting on the counter next to this mornings breakfast dishes (and last nights dinner dishes). :)

Sunny weather bonuses include: More frequent bathing! Thank you Wild Kratts for teaching my son that elephants dust baths protect them from the sun and keep them cool! J's been doing some experimenting with that.

 Here's that cutie again! And as I was crawling around trying to get just the right angle I realized I was doing it again...

So in the name of good honest reporting...

Is that all? 

OK fine! 

and this and this too... :)

 

OK well I'm going to stop this nonsense now because both my big boys are napping!
Yet another sunny weather bonus (one of my favorites).

la da da da life goes on...

We've added another member to our circus... His name is "Tattletale"... I confess he get's no attention from me. 

Ask E, it takes a bit more to get mom's attention these days, even resorting to stunts. 

When that didn't work as well as they liked they even conspired to contract the Chicken Pox. ;) 

(Poor guys, they've been troopers, very itchy little troopers.)

To remedy the attention deficit the boys are experiencing with a new brother, I've prescribed Baking/Cooking together. The kitchen is usually in ruins afterward, but the boys get some intentional Mom time. And it's good for me to remember that it's the process, not the finish product that's the focus.  

I have been pleasantly surprised, the product generally turn out well...
(Mmm... Homemade Cinnamon Rolls)

And those little guys can be quite helpful! They crank the pasta maker for me while I feed the dough through and catch it on the other side.

Outside of the kitchen, The boys have taken the role of big brother seriously.

J offers helpful snuggles when he's fussy, he put him to sleep here.

and both boys like to entertain and keep I-guy happy while I'm busy. 

(probably cleaning up the kitchen). 

Another thing we've been doing a lot lately is drawings. J loves to draw. Today he brought me this picture and he described what he drew "it's a space shuttle and planets and there's earth"...

Look a little closer... that little bugger actually drew earth! North America, South America, Europe, Asia, Africa, Australia, Antarctica (and he threw in the North Pole) :)

For the record, yes I know that this is not what earth would actually look like from space, but it is what it looks like on the maps he's seen, what a little smarty pants. Thank you CC. :)

He's Here!!!

Welcome little guy. 
(6 weeks old already) 

And yes, it's true that since his arrival life has mostly been looking like this...
(yes that "to do" list does have brush teeth, shower, and get boys dressed on it)

But sometimes it looks like this for brief seconds too...

And we are starting to get the hang of it. :)